Project Baby: the multilingual update

Juju & Dion

A while ago I wrote a post on how Daniel and I intend to raise Juju linguistically. From the diagram illustrating the various languages that will be used in Ju's various relationships, you would expect that remembering all that would be a gargantuan challenge in itself, as there are three languages in all. It has been 7 weeks now and I must say everything has gone as planned (as far as who should speak what) but for the weakest link -- me.

I knew speaking Mandarin, my second language, would be the biggest challenge of this project, but it wasn't until our baby arrived that I realised just how tough it really is. First, there is the "other speaker challenge". Basically, when you're the only one in the household who speaks the language, it means no one else in the vicinity understands you when you're speaking. We don't realise how most of the time, we speak to the baby but we're communicating at the same time with our partner or others who may be in the room. Oftentimes I speak to Ju in English not unconsciously, but deliberately because I am communicating to Daniel more than Ju. An obvious example is: "Daddy is such a moron, isn't he? He didn't wash his hands."

Second, Mandarin is not my mother tongue -- meaning it isn't my first or natural language. I am more fluent in English as my vocabulary is much wider and I can express myself perfectly whereas in Mandarin I often find myself at a loss for words (literally) as I hunt for the right word. Ironically I speak to Ju in "high" Mandarin rather than the colloquail (or "pasar" Mandarin) tongue that I use in daily life. Given that I use Mandarin only 10% at the most in daily living, speaking to Ju in Mandarin feels like speaking a foreign language. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am so bad in the language, it just doesn't come naturally as I do not associate it with Ju the way I associate Mandarin with my father and some other family members with whom I have spoken Chinese all my life. I suffer the same paucity of vocabulary with them, but it feels a lot more natural than with Ju.

Third, it's weird speaking to a baby who can't understand nor answer me. The natural response on my part would be to limit speech to a few phrases, usually "What's the matter?", "Wait a minute, milk's coming", or "Ooh you made a big poo". 

Throughout this exercise I've discovered certain things about language from observing myself with Ju: code-switching is normal and natural since I have done it all my life with my parents and relatives; this means Ju can do it too, as long as he associates Mandarin with me. Second, language is like a ball game. Imagine the language as a tennis ball. The ball goes nowhere unless there's another player on the other side returning it. We can't just speak monotonously at someone, it isn't a conversation and after a while, it gets really tiring. Third, because of the above point, if there is someone else around, the natural instinct is to revert to the mutually-used language. In our case, it is English since Daniel doesn't speak Mandarin and I don't speak German. It is also a matter of social inclusion as propriety dictates that in a social gathering, one would use the common language if there is even one person present who does not speak the majority group language.

Hence I am glad for my friend Loping, whose son Dion is also being raised bilingual in German and Chinese. Loping is Taiwanese and her English is not as fluent as her German. This means we speak Mandarin with each other, and I've found myself improving after a few hours together. Dion and Juju are almost 3 months apart, with Dion being the elder. They would also be able to bounce off each other when they are both ready to communicate with language. Yesterday, Loping and I were having an animated conversation and after a while I noticed that the two babies were looking intently at us. Ju was doing his karate kicks as usual but he was paying rapt attention at me as I spoke. Babies love listening to adults talk, Loping said.

No wonder. Ju is now vocalising. He makes the ah-goo and aiii sounds in between gorgeous smiles and gurgles. It's amazing how he's growing. He can now focus on me as move his eyes with my movements if I can catch his attention. He will be 8 weeks old this Friday and I can't wait for the rest of his life to follow.