Ju's seventh month would probably be the most adorable and the most surprising one so far. We went to Perth on Christmas for close to two weeks and in that space of time, he developed object permanence, separation anxiety and an intense temper tantrum if he was stuck in his car seat past his scheduled nap time.
If I could fit all the laughter I've ever had in the past 10 years in a bucket, it would be half as full as the one filled with the moments I've laughed and smiled at Ju in the past fortnight. He is at once astonishing and amazing, silly and loveable. This has really been the best month ever.
Object Permanence
I've been testing Ju's ability to recall the ball or toy as I hide them under a towel or blanket. As expected of most babies under 8 months, he immediately assumed it was gone the moment it vanished from his sight. Last week, he promptly grabbed the towel and tossed it aside. I was jubilant as he did it a second and third time. Just to be sure, I've been testing him every few days. Ju has definitely realisedthe permanence of the hidden object.
Separation Anxiety (or Attachment)
Call it a double-edged sword, but with his discovery of object permanence, Ju also discovered that Mummy and Daddy could disappear and not come back. One day, as we were playing with him on the floor of my Aunt's house in Perth, Daniel got up to leave the room. Ju immediately stopped his play and got upset. He got on all fours and went after his dad. We were stunned for a while as until that moment, Ju couldn't care less if anyone got up and left him alone. We observed him closely and did variations of the Strange Situation experiment (one of us leaving him with the other parent; one of us leaving him alone; one of us leaving him with a relative whom he recognises), on almost all occasions, he would scurry after us in his adorable crawl and whine painfully if we did not come back.
One night, he was so tired after a night out (his bedtime is 8pm and we got back at almost 9) that he refused to let anyone carry him except Daniel. He would wail when I reached for him. I was puzzled, and a little hurt to say the least. I concluded that he might have been associating Dad with play (he refused to be put to bed and threw a tantrum if we tried to) and me with enforced bedtime. On Saturday at a friend's BBQ (cum kindergarten since there must have been 20 kids and babies there, fetuses included) he allowed a friend (whom he has never met) to hold him as Daniel held her 6 month old. But as I approached them and stood next to him, Ju reached his arms out to me and intimated that the time was up. I gladly retrieved him and marvelled at how he's only just begun to discriminate between people in his camp and people who were not.
Ju is definitely developing a profound awareness of the world where none existed before. Psychologists explain the separation anxiety as rooted in his awareness that his primary caregivers are distinct from his Self and could disappear. The exceptions were when Ju was engrossed in a toy and did not notice when one of us left. In addition, he interestingly regards his grandmother as a primary caregiver and may also be securely attached to her. This is because he gladly bid us farewell today in Grandma's arms as we left for work. As for whether he is "securely attached" or not, this remains to be seen at a later stage. I tried the Ainsworth experiment at my friend's house and he did not seem to mind when I left him with her and her 9 month old. It could be (a) he was familiar with the place and so it was not a new or strange situation) and/or (b) he had a whole floor of toys to occupy his attention.
Gross Motor Skills
Ju's physical development is off the charts. He is scooting around on all fours like a pro and on top of that he is getting very adept at pulling himself up on his feet. He tries this with everything: beds, stools, chairs, low tables, knees, walls, legs. It's crucial to keep an eagle eye trained on him when he's on the go as his balance on two feet isn't steady yet. Last week, as he groped the edge of the bed trying to stand up, he topped over on his face. The result was a slightly bloody nose and 15 minutes of pitiable wailing. It happened on Daniel's watch and my bet is he has a better grasp of the heartwrenching guilt I felt when Ju rolled off the bed last month. Ju is likely to take his first step as soon as he can steady himself on his feet, which he is attempting at every chance he gets, every day.
Feeding and Sleeping
Ju has been eating two semi-solid meals a day but I started him on a third because he's been waking up at 4.30am for milk. In Australia, the sun would rise before 5am and it seemed to have an effect on Ju's sleep as well. As a result, he would start his first feed at 5am and end his day before 8pm. He has been having trouble sleeping through since the holiday. We suspected that it could also be linked to his cognitive development as he becomes more attached to the primary figures in his life and perhaps even his memories are solidifying. He didn't require a feed so we just picked him up and soothed him back to sleep, usually in bed with us. It's a terrible habit to foster, I know, but it was the easiest way. Plus, we were on holiday, I reasoned! When we came back, the frequent interruptions ceased, thankfully, but he would wake at 4 to 5am, fussing and eventually yelling in hunger. The third meal didn't have an effect on him last night as he woke again for milk at 4.45am. We failed again to "train" him to stay in his bed as we were exhausted.
The two likely explanations are separation anxiety and hunger or both. Tonight I will try an 11pm feed to see if Ju lasts till 6am. If it does, then we can rule our the anxiety. My hopes are slim. He still needs three naps a day, after each feed, otherwise he gets cranky.
Social development
Ju remains jovial and open to other people. He does not cry or fret when strangers hold him. In fact he got along swimmingly with my cousins and aunt in Perth who were completely taken by his cherubic smiles and throaty laughter. He is still a little wary of babies who are a little rambunctious as his playmates are mostly adults. Still, he warmed up to his 9 month old friend, Dion, who was very eager to swat, poke and grab at Ju. At first, Ju was taken aback as Dion made a beeline (commando-style, Dion doesn't crawl yet) for Ju, arms outstretched. I thought Ju was going to burst into tears at the onslaught. After a while, Ju consented to have Dion hovering around him as he helped himself to Dion's toys. They even had a little chase-around when Dion made off with a favoured toy. It was hilarious. My friend commented that Ju, compared with most other Asian babies she had observed (Japanese and Chinese), was able to play independently without needing attention or coddling from me. Indeed, he is quite indifferent to us if he is allowed space to move and objects to play with, only needing assistance when he's had enough of confinement in his cot or high chair. He finds the littlest things amusing and laughs constantly and easily. He is making new sounds (that sound more like a young child and less like a helpless baby) and the wet razzing is back. All in, Ju is developing perfectly and I couldn't ask for more.![]() | ||||
King's Park, Perth |
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