Before I delivered, one of my biggest concerns had been how we would get the baby to sleep through the night. Checks with every Mummy-friend of mine revealed that almost none of the babies slept through before the 4th or 5th month (1 out of 10 had the good fortune of a baby who slept through from the get-go) and some were still waking up for night feeds at close to 1 year.
The first month, Ju had 3 hourly feeds throughout the day until midnight. Then he would sleep a max of 4 hours before the cycle resumed, this meant we had two night feeds between midnight and 6am. The second month Ju suddenly switched to 2-hourly feeds throughout the day ending at close to midnight. Besides this being a nightmare for the one minding him all day (since there was now less time in between his feeds), we noticed that he could sleep up to 5 hours at night. We noticed that if he went early to bed (before 9pm), he would inevitably wake for his night feed sometime between 2 and 3am.
So we started making his last feed sometime between 10 and 11pm. This is really a stretch because he looks like a druggie by 10pm. This is his third month and he can sleep up to 7 hours, going past the spendid 5am mark. Last night, he slept from 10.30pm to 6.30am, hallelujah! We cut back his 9pm feed to 90ml (which wasn't an issue for him since he was asleep by the last 10ml) and he started sucking his thumb before 10pm even though his eyes seemed to be glued shut. I breastfed him and stuck 40ml down him before 10.30 and he went completely under by the time Daniel put him to bed.
Needless to say, we had a fabulous night (of sleep) until 6.30am. I must admit we've been exceptionally lucky with this baby. If all goes well and Ju does not have any revolutionary changes to his metabolism in the next few months, I won't have to make the painful decision to sleep-train him before going back to work. For more needy babies, however, there are some methods that may offer that precious respite from the 3am feed, or worse, the 2-hourly round-the-clock baby:
Cold-turkey
A baby cries to be picked-up, rocked or fed or all three. So even if he isn't really dying for a meal, he would still cry as long this gets him the comfort he realises crying gets him. So letting him cry it out -- basically ignoring him -- till he falls asleep is one nailbiting but effective, as some swear by it, method of ending those nightime feeds and cries.
"Ferberizing"
According to Dr Richard Ferber, a baby can be conditioned to dissociate crying with the gratification of need. This is less heartbreaking than going cold turkey and something I would've tried myself. You put baby to bed while he is still awake and if he cries, you wait a minute or two before going to soothe him or pick him up. Once he's back in bed and acts up again, you do the same thing except this time, you stretch out the time he has to wait for attention, and you don't pick him up. The next time, you wait even longer and you don't touch him at all, gentle and soothing sounds or words would suffice. You do this over and over, each time making him wait longer, until eventually he figures out that he isn't getting anything but a "shhhh" and quits.
The problem with this method is, I don't think my hungry baby is going to stand for it. A baby can keep crying for up to 1 hour (my friend's 4 month old) and this can be really nerve-wracking as well as hell for the neighbours. But the point of conditioning is precisely to train your baby to sleep through, even if it means going hungry. With Ju, we tried upping his intake at 9pm, but he would fall asleep and the extra would be wasted. I guess with some babies, they will drink as much as they need and want, whether it's more or less than you desire.
I personally believe in as little intervention as possible in the baby's rhythm. From birth, I observed Ju's regularity and duly responded to his needs as he dictated -- on-demand parenting as some call it. Even without my intervening, he would fall roughly into his own sleep-eat-play-sleep rhythm. All I had to do was to spot the signs of his tiredness and get him as comfortable as possible for sleep, and learn to anticipate his 2 hourly meal-time fussing and get either my boob or bottle ready.
A word on sleep: some babies need help going to sleep, and even a baby as easy as Ju sometimes needs that pacifier or blanket. Ju discovered the fradulence of the pacifier and so if I am at home, I would offer him a 2minute suck on the boob if he seems to be really distressed and sleepy. Recently Ju learnt how to suck on his thumb and he now gets his own comfort DIY before his nap. It staves off his hunger pangs as well. We avoided swaddling him from birth or "managing" the environment (like darkening the room or playing music) whenever he slept. This proved to be a good move because Ju can sleep almost anywhere as long as he's tired. Messing with the environment gets your baby reliant on having certain conditions for sleep. All we do is to cover him with a blanket whenever he starts to show signs of sleepiness to help him associate that with napping. I don't know if we managed to condition him, since he would kick off his blanket and fidget until he is good and ready. We also only put him in his cot at night, after his last feed, to get him accustomed to it as his bedtime spot. In the day, he takes naps on the couch, in his rocker or in his stroller if we are out.
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